Tis the season, my friends. The cold germs are wafting around, people at work are dropping like flies. Friends are telling horror stories of incidences of gastro. Every parent has stocked up on Purell and is passing it around like it’s the latest bit of small town gossip. It’s cold and flu time. And the House of Hockey has a player sidelined. Yes, folks, the HockeyMom is sick.
My dad always said when the weather bounced between warm and cold, it was hard on the animals. I happen to believe him. My dad may be a little off his rocker (because I come by the crazy honestly) but he knows his weather. And he knows about his animals. I also believe that it’s just as hard on the human population. So far this winter has hovered in and around the freezing mark, but one day will be 10 degrees above and the next will be 10 degrees below. That’s tough on a body. It’s definitely tough on this body. The headache knows no limits, we’re on day three with no signs of letting up. And the fever showed up to the party two days ago.
I do not handle being sick well. It requires me to slow down which I really do not excel at, a fact that is only reinforced by the texts I receive from my friends when I tell them I’m sick.
“You’ve run yourself into the ground again, and your body is telling you to slow down.”
Listen, while this may be very true, I would like to argue that my body is a traitor and needs to get with the program. Two weeks before Christmas is no time to be sick. I mean, in reality there is never a time to be sick, but two weeks before Christmas is definitely not it. Also, it was sick for a full week in August, we should be done with it for the year. There is time for redemption, though. It is Tuesday, so there are three more days before the hockey schedule rears it’s head. Body, consider this your warning.
Aside from the never-ending headache and it’s good buddy, the fever, the House of Hockey has been able to avoid the worst of it. We’ve had just one instance of vomit (thankfully not me). But I know it’s coming. In preparation for this, I present the five signs the HockeyMom is sick.
1. Her house is tidy, because she hasn’t been able to go anywhere or do anything and that’s driving her a little crazy. So she cleans.
2. She’s actually warm. Given the sheer quantity of hours spent in cold arenas, it is unlikely that you’ll see a HockeyMom who is comfortably warm between the months of September and March. If this happens, check for fever. There’s a good chance she’s turned into a furnace.
3. She doesn’t show up to the hockey rink for an entire weekend. Now in some instances, this isn’t by choice, rather HockeyDad has forced her to stay home. (insert sarcasm font here ->) Not that this has ever happened to yours truly. Coincidentally, this is also why Sign #1 happens.
4. If she does show up to the rink, she’s not cheering the way she normally does. Probably because she has no voice.
5. She sits still for more than 30 seconds. If this lasts more than a half hour, or she actually goes to sleep before her kids, you may want to check for signs of life. Once the kids hit the ice in September, the pace gets a little frenetic. And everyone needs to keep up. If the HockeyMom is still, there’s a problem.
In all honesty, as much as I say this with tongue in cheek, it’s not far off from the truth. I have never been one to sleep in and I certainly do not sit still well. And while I may complain about spending so much time at the hockey rink, having to miss a boy’s game or a practice because of a virus really irritates me.
Even more than the insult of being forced to slow down.
See you at the rink,