One of my dad’s most favorite things for a while was Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might be a Redneck If…” bit. He would laugh until he cried. Still does. And every now and then pulls out the “you might be a redneck” line. Now, I’ve been off the farm for a few years, so my redneck really only surfaces when I’ve had far too much to drink. But…hockey mom? You know I’m all over that. So as a tip of the hat to Mr. Foxworthy, and my dad, I present to you:
-If you arrive at practice and say hello to at least four people on your way through, and half of them aren’t on your team….you might be a hockey mom.
-You know kids by their last names as a result of staring at their name bars all season.
-If you see the inside of a rink more than the inside of your house on a weekend…you might be a hockey mom.
-You have a specific bank account (or budget line) for hockey and hockey related expense.
-If you know the kids on your team better in their hockey gear rather than out… you might be a hockey mom
-You trip over sticks and bags for six months out of the year because there is never a good place to store hockey bags or sticks.
-If you know the warm arenas from the cold arenas…you might be a hockey mom.
-Your travel time to the arena includes a 15 minute buffer to stop for a coffee.
-If you go to work on Mondays with a schedule less hectic than your weekend…you might be a hockey mom.
-You know which arenas have better acoustics for cheering.
-If you know the difference between offside and icing…you might be a hockey mom.
-All your clothes are bought with the idea of comfort at the rink in mind.
-If the thought of spending any time any where else makes you a little sad…you might be a hockey mom.
I feel the need to note that most of this is meant as humour and should be taken as such. Frankly, I suspect every sports parent has a similar list. But you didn’t come here to talk other sports, did you? I mean, this is the Hockey Mom Chronicles, after all.
See you at the rink,